孩子成功的秘密是什么？| Grit-the secret to making our kids successful

作為父母，我們會(huì)一直思考這樣的問題。什么能使我們的孩子取得成功？怎樣才能幫助我們的孩子獲得實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想的能力呢？許多年來，教育家、家長(zhǎng)們以及心理學(xué)家發(fā)現(xiàn)高智商（IQ）是成功人士都具備的特質(zhì)。IQ，是衡量一個(gè)人信息理解速度和能力的指標(biāo)。IQ越高，越能夠在相對(duì)短的時(shí)間內(nèi)理解大量信息。當(dāng)我們回顧歷史上最有創(chuàng)造性思維的人物時(shí)，比如愛因斯坦或者霍金，他們有兩個(gè)共同點(diǎn)：高智商和領(lǐng)域內(nèi)的高成就。但是，新的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)智商可能不是決定成功的最重要因素。哈佛心理學(xué)家Angela Duckworth走訪跨國公司、全國拼字比賽以及頂級(jí)中學(xué)，想要發(fā)現(xiàn)“哪些人最終能夠成功？”。結(jié)果表明最有力的預(yù)測(cè)因子不是外貌，不是家庭背景，而是毅力。

什么是毅力（Grit）？

毅力是“對(duì)長(zhǎng)期目標(biāo)的持續(xù)激情及持久耐力的性格特征”。心理學(xué)家對(duì)于毅力的定義包括兩個(gè)部分：1.堅(jiān)持長(zhǎng)期目標(biāo)的能力。2.克服挫折持續(xù)向前的能力

經(jīng)過無數(shù)研究，Duckworth博士發(fā)現(xiàn)“天分很重要，毅力更重要”。她的發(fā)現(xiàn)可以總結(jié)為以下兩個(gè)公式：

天分x努力=技能

技能x努力=成就

當(dāng)你有天分，再加上努力，可以獲得技能。有了技能，再加上努力，可以取得成就。不付出努力，天分只是未開發(fā)的潛能；不付出努力，就沒有可能獲得技能。這就是為什么毅力更重要。

毅力（Grit）是美國當(dāng)下最時(shí)髦的教育理念。教育家正在努力嘗試改變現(xiàn)有的教學(xué)方式和教學(xué)理念，關(guān)注學(xué)生毅力的培養(yǎng)而不是填鴨式教育。

啟明星學(xué)校早已重視通過不同的方式培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的毅力。在練習(xí)籃球時(shí)，如果學(xué)生不夠努力，他們需要“爬梯子”。“爬梯子”并不是字面上的意思。它指的是學(xué)生在籃球場(chǎng)上來回地跑。這樣做的意義是什么呢？每個(gè)人都有狀態(tài)不太好的時(shí)候，但是不意味著這時(shí)候可以放棄努力。啟明星關(guān)注教導(dǎo)學(xué)生學(xué)會(huì)堅(jiān)持。為什么呢？因?yàn)橹灰銐驘崆椋銐蚺Γ晒ψ匀欢粫?huì)到來。啟明星致力于磨練和完善學(xué)習(xí)過程，而不是急功近利地求取眼前結(jié)果。

總結(jié)一下，研究者發(fā)現(xiàn)毅力是成功最有力的預(yù)測(cè)因子。它幫助學(xué)生更好地學(xué)習(xí)，幫助士兵更好地完成訓(xùn)練，幫助成人更有效地工作和維持婚姻。

那么我們?cè)鯓硬拍軒椭⒆觽冏兊酶幸懔δ兀窟@就需要面臨以下三種挑戰(zhàn)。

1、面對(duì)新事物的挑戰(zhàn)

挑戰(zhàn)我們的孩子們跳出舒適區(qū)。學(xué)習(xí)新的東西、新的技能就像是場(chǎng)馬拉松，而不是快跑。孩子會(huì)有感到焦慮、不適，甚至失望的時(shí)候。重要的是幫助孩子們意識(shí)到這樣的情緒很正常。不屈服于這樣的情緒，學(xué)會(huì)與之和平相處，才能不斷進(jìn)步，直至卓越。怎樣運(yùn)用呢？不斷地鼓勵(lì)孩子進(jìn)入新的環(huán)境。讓他們意識(shí)到感到焦慮、不適或者失望并不意味著他們應(yīng)該放棄。具體怎么做呢？您可以每一天給孩子一點(diǎn)挑戰(zhàn)。不需要是多么大的挑戰(zhàn)，不一定是要報(bào)名一項(xiàng)新的體育運(yùn)動(dòng)或者新課程。可以是鼓勵(lì)他第一次自己點(diǎn)餐這樣的小事。第一次您的孩子可能會(huì)慌亂或者不安，但是當(dāng)他/她多做幾次，就會(huì)意識(shí)到這些負(fù)面情緒只是學(xué)習(xí)過程中的一部分。重點(diǎn)：每天都讓孩子經(jīng)歷一點(diǎn)挑戰(zhàn)，以使他/她能夠認(rèn)識(shí)并且明白焦慮、不適和失望只是學(xué)習(xí)的一部分。

2、面對(duì)重復(fù)的挑戰(zhàn)

在Malcolm Gladwell《異類：不一樣的成功啟示》一書中，一萬小時(shí)的練習(xí)是成為任一領(lǐng)域?qū)＜业哪ХāＴS多人認(rèn)為天才是不適用這一規(guī)則的。但是事實(shí)卻不是這樣。就連著名的作曲家和音樂家莫扎特經(jīng)過至少10年的努力才能寫出一首經(jīng)典曲目，成為我們現(xiàn)在還在聽的經(jīng)典。著名的籃球運(yùn)動(dòng)員科比·布萊恩特，每天都要四點(diǎn)半起床，比他的對(duì)手們練習(xí)更長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間。引導(dǎo)孩子意識(shí)到成功需要時(shí)間，對(duì)于他們堅(jiān)持不懈地努力很重要。明白成功是馬拉松而不是快跑很關(guān)鍵。學(xué)習(xí)如何在不斷重復(fù)帶來的枯燥感中持續(xù)努力，是通向成功和卓越的必經(jīng)之路。重點(diǎn)是要有意識(shí)地去練習(xí)。只是空喊口號(hào)“我要學(xué)好數(shù)學(xué)”沒有太大幫助，人需要具體的、可以實(shí)施的目標(biāo)。舉一個(gè)例子，科比每天都在練習(xí)結(jié)束前完成（不是湊合）800個(gè)跳投。當(dāng)大多數(shù)人談到努力工作的時(shí)候，他們?cè)谟没ㄙM(fèi)的時(shí)間作為努力工作的標(biāo)志。“我這周工作了60個(gè)小時(shí)”。僅僅只是花更多時(shí)間（甚至10000個(gè)小時(shí)）不足以成為最優(yōu)秀的人。最好的藝術(shù)家、音樂家、體育運(yùn)動(dòng)員、CEO們以及企業(yè)家們不只是工作時(shí)間長(zhǎng)，他們專注于每一次練習(xí)過程。怎樣才能運(yùn)用呢？有意識(shí)地去練習(xí)。僅僅告訴孩子“你要學(xué)好數(shù)學(xué)”是沒有用的，幫助他們樹立具體的、可以實(shí)施和操作的目標(biāo)。不管是解100個(gè)數(shù)學(xué)題或者記10個(gè)新詞，樹立規(guī)則的目的是幫助孩子們意識(shí)到長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的練習(xí)是學(xué)習(xí)過程的一部分。當(dāng)然，不是每一天都會(huì)發(fā)生有趣的事。重要的是關(guān)注在學(xué)習(xí)的過程中，而不是眼前的結(jié)果。只要不懈努力，就會(huì)成功。

重點(diǎn)：幫助孩子不斷練習(xí)，意識(shí)到成功需要很多小時(shí)的積累。（至少需要10000小時(shí)）

3. 不斷保持希望的挑戰(zhàn)

通向卓越的路避免不了失敗。犯錯(cuò)在所難免。但是，我們需要幫助孩子們意識(shí)到犯錯(cuò)很正常，如果在追逐夢(mèng)想的過程中，秉承自己能夠變得更好的信念并且不斷努力，自然而然會(huì)不斷得到提高。可能不是今天或者明天，但等待是值得的。認(rèn)為自己的能力有限這種想法會(huì)像癌癥一樣侵蝕生活的方方面面。以為自己的能力是一成不變不僅是錯(cuò)誤的，更被證實(shí)會(huì)對(duì)人持之以恒的能力帶來損害。我們?nèi)祟惔竽X是有可塑性的，也就是說大腦的結(jié)構(gòu)會(huì)因?yàn)槲覀兊呐徒?jīng)驗(yàn)而改變。怎樣運(yùn)用呢？我們作為父母，首先需要有毅力。我們要成為孩子們的榜樣，身體力行毅力意味著什么，怎樣在困境中堅(jiān)持。孩子們需要明白通過努力和全身心的投入，任何事都有可能。我們可以通過言語不斷傳達(dá)這一信念，掙脫限制，對(duì)孩子們說“只要努力，沒有什么不可能”而不是“這不可能”或者“我永遠(yuǎn)也不可能達(dá)到那樣的水平”。重點(diǎn)：幫助孩子專注于“通過努力，可以提高”的信念，而不是錯(cuò)誤以及負(fù)面的信念。

毅力是熱情和耐力的結(jié)合體。毅力需要發(fā)現(xiàn)熱情所在，并且持之以恒地為之努力。正如我們所說，堅(jiān)持是可以教導(dǎo)的。但是熱情是教不了的。 為什么呢？簡(jiǎn)單來講，熱情是假裝不了的。熱情是被激發(fā)的，不是學(xué)來的。作為家長(zhǎng)，重要的是幫助我們的孩子不斷經(jīng)歷不同的人和事，直到他們發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的熱情所在。

---

As parents, we all have one question on our minds. What makes children successful? How can we ensure that our children have the ability to achieve their dreams?

For many years, educators, parents, and psychologists identified intelligence quotient (IQ) as the greatest variable in successful people. IQ, is a measure of one’s speed and capacity to comprehend and understand information.Those with higher IQ scores tend to be able to comprehend large amounts of information in short amounts of time. When we look at some of the brightest minds in all of history, such as Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking, they all seem to have two things in common: a high IQ and tremendous success in their field of study.However, new research suggests that IQ may not be the greatest factor in determining success. Harvard psychologist Angela Duckworth went around to multinational businesses, national spelling bees, and top-high schools with one question: “Which individuals would end up succeeding?” The greatest correlational variable was not physical looks, nor was it family background, it was grit.

What is Grit?

Grit is “perseverance and passion for long-term goals”The psychological definition of grit contains two components:1. The ability to stick to long-term goals2. The ability to keep going despite adversity

In study after study, Duckworth found that “where talent counts once, effort counts twice”.TALENT x EFFORT = SKILLSKILL x EFFORT = ACHIEVEMENT

When you apply effort to talent, you get skill. When you apply effort to skill, you get achievement.Without effort, talent is merely untapped potential. Without effort,?skill is something you could have done, but never did. That is why grit counts twice, and that is why it is important.Grit is already a hot topic in the United States. Educators are rushing to alter their teaching methods and philosophies to focus more on grit instead of trying to insert information into students’ minds.Daystar has already began emphasizing many of these elements to grow grit in various ways. In basketball practice, if students are not working hard, they are required to do “l(fā)adders”. Don’t let the name fool you. Ladders are when students repeatedly run back and forth across a field. The philosophy behind this exercise? Everyone has days where their performance may not be the best, but this does not mean we stop putting in effort. Daystar is focused on teaching perseverance. Why? Because results always follow once there is enough passion and perseverance. Daystar aims to hone and perfect the process, rather than opting for immediate results.To reiterate, grit is the greatest predictor of success that researchers have found. It helps kids do better in school, soldiers follow through with demanding military training, and adults succeed in work and stay in marriages.

How do we instill more perseverance into our children? These are 3 challenges to instill perseverance into your child.

1. Challenge of the New?

Challenge your children to come out of their comfort zones. Learning something, or getting better at a craft, is a marathon, not a race. ?There will be moments where you may feel anxiety, discomfort, or even disappointment.The key is teaching your children that these emotions are normal. To not shy away from them, but rather, embrace the process in learning and striving after excellence.How do we practically instill this?Constantly Expose your children to new environments. Let them understand that anxiety, discomfort, or disappointment does not mean they should quit or give up. What exactly does this look like? You can present new challenges to your child every single day. It does not necessarily mean signing up for that new sport or class. It can be something as simple as allowing him or her to order food at a restaurant for the first time. Your child may get flustered or nervous, but the more he or she does it, he or she will know that this is simply apart of the process.The key? Challenging your child with new environments everyday so that he or she recognizes and understands that feeling anxiety, discomfort, or disappointment is simply apart of the learning process.

2. Challenge of the Same?

In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers, he illustrates that 10,000 hours is the magic number to become an expert at any field. A lot of people think that geniuses are excluded from this rule. However, that is not the case at all. Even renowned musician Mozart had to work for at least 10 years before he produced any of his most popular pieces, the ones that we listen to still even to this day. Famous basketball athlete, Kobe Bryant, wakes up at 4:30 AM every day to get extra workouts in comparison to his competition.Teaching children that success takes time is an important part of growing perseverance.?Being aware that success is a marathon, not a race, is critical. Learning to do things well, despite boring repetition, is apart of the process towards success and excellence.When most people talk about working hard, they use the amount of time they worked as an indication of how hard they worked. “I worked 60 hours this week! Simply working a lot (even if it is 10,000 hours over the course of your career) is not enough to make you a top performer. ?The best artists, musicians, athletes, CEO’s, and entrepreneurs do not simply work a lot, they focus lots of hard effort and work towards deliberate practice.How do we practically apply this? Instill deliberate practice! Instead of telling your child “to get better at math”, help them set up purposeful, specific, and manageable goals. Whether it is 100 math problems, 50 push-ups, or 10 new words, instilling the discipline of deliberate practice, aims to help your children understand that these long hours, are part of the process. Obviously, not every single day will go amazingly or be perfect. Understand that everyday will not be amazing. Rather, what’s important is to keep focusing on the process, instead of the short-term results. If you work on this craft for long enough, you will master it.Key: Help your children deliberately practice, constantly being aware that success requires a lot of hours (at least 10,000 to be exact).

3. Challenge to Hope?

The process towards excellence is inevitably going to involve failure. ?It will involve mistakes. However, we need to help our children understand that mistakes are normal. If you go after your goals with the belief that you can do better, and if you work hard at things, then naturally improvement will follow. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it is far worth the wait.Limiting beliefs about your abilities can be cancerous. Falsely believing that your abilities are fixed is not only wrong but can prove to be incredibly damaging to one’s ability to persevere. Our brains are not like formed rocks, but more like plastic, something that can be reshaped through effort and experience.How do we practically instill this? We As parents, we need to be gritty. We need to be our children’s role models of what it means to have grit, to persevere in the face of adversity. We need to teach our children that anything is possible through hard work and dedication. We can teach this belief to our children by continuous verbal reinforcement such as, “Through hard work things and you will both improve”, and by removing limiting beliefs such as, “This is impossible” or “I’ll never get this”.Key: Help your children focus on the belief that “through hard work, improvement will happen” and remove false and negative beliefs.

Grit is a combination of passion and perseverance. Grit is about finding something that you are passionate about, and learning how to work hard and persevere towards it. Now perseverance, as we have stated, could be something you teach. But passion is unteachable. Why? Simply put, you cannot fake passion. Passion is caught, not taught. The key is exposing our children to various different people and experiences so that they can find something that they can become passionate.

以上就是關(guān)于【孩子成功的秘密是什么？| Grit-the secret to making our kids successful】的解答，如需了解學(xué)校/賽事/課程動(dòng)態(tài)，可至翰林教育官網(wǎng)獲取更多信息。

往期文章閱讀推薦：

競(jìng)賽獲獎(jiǎng)≠名校offer，但拿下哈佛、MIT、牛劍Offer的學(xué)霸履歷里，都有一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)……

【十問十答】別盲目刷競(jìng)賽！10 個(gè)核心問答，理清國際賽事規(guī)劃底層邏輯！