哈佛大學(xué)錄取文書(shū)范例分析！原來(lái)這些文書(shū)要素很重要！

想要寫(xiě)出一篇優(yōu)秀的文書(shū)，絕非一蹴而就的事情。相信每位經(jīng)歷過(guò)申請(qǐng)季的申請(qǐng)黨們一定都有體會(huì)過(guò)煉獄般的文書(shū)修改過(guò)程，徹底完成一篇文書(shū)的時(shí)間有時(shí)甚至高達(dá)一兩個(gè)月。語(yǔ)言流暢度、邏輯清晰度、層次分明度，語(yǔ)法有無(wú)錯(cuò)誤、內(nèi)容是否過(guò)于直白或涉及敏感問(wèn)題……每個(gè)點(diǎn)都需要仔細(xì)打磨和反復(fù)推敲。

文書(shū)是否出彩，是否能夠打動(dòng)招生官，是學(xué)生最終收獲夢(mèng)校錄取的關(guān)鍵之一。一篇優(yōu)秀的文書(shū)有時(shí)能夠在標(biāo)化成績(jī)不理想的情況下，讓招生官看到申請(qǐng)者在其他方面的潛能，助你逆風(fēng)翻盤(pán)。什么才是優(yōu)秀的文書(shū)呢？與其泛泛地查詢各種文書(shū)方法論，不如直接來(lái)看美國(guó)大學(xué)官方的真實(shí)范例。

23-24申請(qǐng)季業(yè)已開(kāi)始，與新一年文書(shū)題目公開(kāi)的同時(shí)還有各大名校范文的更新。近期，最新一年的十篇哈佛范文公布，其中優(yōu)秀文書(shū)原文和文書(shū)點(diǎn)評(píng)都在網(wǎng)站上向讀者公開(kāi)。

本期，我們就給大家精選出22-23Fall哈佛錄取生的優(yōu)秀文書(shū)的其中三篇，舉例構(gòu)成優(yōu)秀文書(shū)的那些Key elements。

哈佛范文

"Hook+Anchor+Story+Growth"

第一篇范文展示了成功文書(shū)的必備公式：Hook+Anchor+Story+Growth，那么這一公式的意涵何在，以及這一公式怎樣將作者的整體性顯示給招生官，請(qǐng)沉浸到原文中看看吧！

哈佛大學(xué)錄取文書(shū)原文

With the blazing morning sun beaming through the window, I had an inclination to make a stand to sell Lebanese laymounada - a light lemonade flavored with a splash of rosewater. Throughout my childhood, anytime the temperature spiked over seventy degrees, there would be laymounada waiting for me at my Teta’s (grandmother in Lebanese Arabic) house.

At that moment, I scoured the cabinets and secured the glass pitcher only to realize we did not have lemons. To my disappointment, I realized my days of being an entrepreneur and generating revenue from my laymounada stand were over before they could even begin. I sat at the kitchen table, wallowing in disappointment. I wanted everyone to be able to taste my Teta’s laymounada. Suddenly, I had an idea that would either prove to be inventive or a total failure. I would sell lemonade without the lemons. Revolutionary, right?

I ripped off a rectangular sheet of paper towel and jotted down my business plan. I listed the key elements of the business plan: a drawing of a cup, a rose, and the price- “fifty scents”- to correlate with the rose-themed business. I sat outside of my childhood home located in a cul-de-sac of five houses and sold my neighbors a rose drink- a combination of filtered water, packets of sugar, and a dash of rosewater. Granted, I only made about $10 from a combination of my parents and generous neighbors who did not drink the “l(fā)emonade”, but the experience allowed me to realize regardless of the obstacle, if you are passionate, you can persevere. Teta’s laymounada was my introduction to entrepreneurship.

The entrepreneurial skills gained from my laymounada stand allowed me to establish A&G Jewelry, co-founded with my sister when I was twelve. This business focused on representing our Lebanese heritage. Using supplies we found around our house and from our local craft store, we created a variety of pieces that featured traditional Middle Eastern coins, beads, and clay baked into the shape of Lebanon. My sister and I collaborated to create marketing tools to promote our new business. Before we knew it, A&G Jewelry had earned a spot at my church’s annual Lebanese festival. After tirelessly marketing and selling our jewelry for three days straight, we had made over $900 in revenue, which we decided to donate to the church.
Entrepreneurship took a new form in high school when my sister and I founded our second partnership, The Model Brockton City Council. We saw a need to engage our peers in local government by designing a simulation of our city council. We had to collect signatures, present to many administrators, and market our new club. The initial goal to have more people try my lemonade resonated with me as I strived to have more people engage in their civic duties. Today, over twenty-five of my classmates frequently attend my meetings.

With my first business venture selling laymounada, I made $10; with A&G Jewelry, $900; with the Model Brockton City Council, the revenue amounted to $0. Although there was not a financial gain, I attained experience as a negotiator, problem solver, creative thinker, and most importantly, I became persistent.

Twelve years have passed since that summer day with my “l(fā)aymounada,” and I have yet to maintain a long-lasting business. My six-year-old self would have seen this lack of continuity as a colossal failure, but instead, it instilled an intense curiosity in me. Little did I know the experience would remain so vivid after all these years. It has continued to push me, compelling me to challenge myself both academically and entrepreneurially. As I grow older, my intrinsic drive to have a lemonade stand, regardless of whatever obstacles come my way, persists as a deep-seated love of business.

When life doesn’t give you lemons, still make lemonade (or laymounada, as my Teta would say).

范文參考譯文

清晨，熾熱的陽(yáng)光透過(guò)窗戶灑在我的身上，我不由自主地想擺攤賣(mài)黎巴嫩的 laymounada（一種加了玫瑰水的淡檸檬水）。在我的童年時(shí)代，只要?dú)鉁爻^(guò)七十度，我的特塔（黎巴嫩阿拉伯語(yǔ)中的祖母）家就會(huì)有 laymounada 等著我。

那一刻，我翻遍了櫥柜，找到了玻璃水壺，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)我們家沒(méi)有檸檬。令我失望的是，我意識(shí)到我想成為一名企業(yè)家并從我的 laymounada 攤位上創(chuàng)收的日子還沒(méi)開(kāi)始就已經(jīng)結(jié)束了。我坐在廚房的桌子旁，沉浸在失望之中。我希望每個(gè)人都能品嘗到我的 Teta's laymounada。突然，我有了一個(gè)想法，這個(gè)想法要么被證明是別出心裁，要么被證明是徹底失敗。我要賣(mài)沒(méi)有檸檬的檸檬水。很革命吧？

我撕下一張長(zhǎng)方形紙巾，記下了我的商業(yè)計(jì)劃。我列出了商業(yè)計(jì)劃書(shū)的關(guān)鍵要素：一個(gè)杯子的圖畫(huà)、一朵玫瑰，以及價(jià)格--"50 種香味"--與玫瑰主題的業(yè)務(wù)相關(guān)聯(lián)。我坐在兒時(shí)的家門(mén)口，那里有五棟房子，我向鄰居們推銷玫瑰飲料--過(guò)濾水、糖包和少許玫瑰水的組合。當(dāng)然，我只從父母和慷慨的鄰居那里賺了大約 10 美元，他們都沒(méi)有喝 "檸檬水"，但這次經(jīng)歷讓我意識(shí)到，無(wú)論遇到什么困難，只要有熱情，就能堅(jiān)持下去。Teta 的 laymounada 是我的創(chuàng)業(yè)入門(mén)。

從 laymounada 攤位上獲得的創(chuàng)業(yè)技能讓我在 12 歲時(shí)與姐姐共同創(chuàng)辦了 A&G 珠寶公司。這項(xiàng)業(yè)務(wù)的重點(diǎn)是體現(xiàn)我們的黎巴嫩傳統(tǒng)。我們利用從家里和當(dāng)?shù)厥止に嚻飞痰晏詠?lái)的材料，制作了各種以中東傳統(tǒng)硬幣、珠子和烤成黎巴嫩形狀的粘土為特色的飾品。我和妹妹合作制作了營(yíng)銷工具，以推廣我們的新業(yè)務(wù)。在我們意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)之前，A&G 珠寶已經(jīng)在我教會(huì)一年一度的黎巴嫩節(jié)上贏得了一席之地。經(jīng)過(guò)連續(xù)三天不懈的營(yíng)銷和銷售，我們的珠寶收入超過(guò)了 900 美元，我們決定將這筆錢(qián)捐給教會(huì)。

高中時(shí)，我和妹妹創(chuàng)建了我們的第二家合伙企業(yè)--布羅克頓市模范議會(huì)（The Model Brockton City Council），創(chuàng)業(yè)精神由此煥然一新。我們認(rèn)為有必要通過(guò)設(shè)計(jì)一個(gè)模擬市議會(huì)，讓我們的同齡人參與到地方政府中來(lái)。我們必須收集簽名，向許多行政人員介紹，并推銷我們的新俱樂(lè)部。最初的目標(biāo)是讓更多的人嘗嘗我的檸檬水，這引起了我的共鳴，我努力讓更多的人參與到公民義務(wù)中來(lái)。如今，我的二十五位同學(xué)經(jīng)常參加我的會(huì)議。

第一次創(chuàng)業(yè)賣(mài) laymounada，我賺了 10 美元；A&G 珠寶店賺了 900 美元；布羅克頓市模范議會(huì)的收入為 0 美元。雖然沒(méi)有經(jīng)濟(jì)收益，但我獲得了談判者、問(wèn)題解決者、創(chuàng)造性思維者的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，最重要的是，我變得堅(jiān)持不懈。

自從那個(gè)夏日和我的 "laymounada "在一起后，12 年過(guò)去了，我還沒(méi)有維持長(zhǎng)久的生意。六歲時(shí)的我可能會(huì)把這種缺乏持續(xù)性視為巨大的失敗，但這反而激發(fā)了我強(qiáng)烈的好奇心。我不知道這段經(jīng)歷會(huì)在這么多年后依然如此生動(dòng)。它不斷鞭策著我，迫使我在學(xué)業(yè)和創(chuàng)業(yè)方面不斷挑戰(zhàn)自己。隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)，無(wú)論遇到什么困難，我都會(huì)堅(jiān)持開(kāi)一個(gè)檸檬水?dāng)偅@是我對(duì)商業(yè)根深蒂固的熱愛(ài)。

當(dāng)生活沒(méi)有給你檸檬時(shí)，仍然要做檸檬水（或者用我的泰塔的話說(shuō)，做檸檬水）。

專業(yè)點(diǎn)評(píng)

許多成功的大學(xué)作文都遵循一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的公式：Hook+Anchor+Story+Growth（鉤子+錨點(diǎn)+故事+成長(zhǎng)）。雖然具體內(nèi)容可能各不相同，但如果你能包含這四個(gè)要素中的每一個(gè)，你就能寫(xiě)出一篇引人注目的文章。

鉤子：“鉤子”的作用是吸引讀者。招生官每天要閱讀成百上千篇文章，因此要努力在第一時(shí)間抓住他們的注意力，用一些引人入勝或與眾不同的內(nèi)容作為文章的開(kāi)頭。

Georgina的“鉤子”就是她的“l(fā)aymounada”攤位。黎巴嫩的laymounada（用玫瑰水調(diào)味的淡檸檬水）有什么特別之處？它與普通檸檬水有什么不同？而誰(shuí)又是Teta？喬治娜用她對(duì)經(jīng)典檸檬水?dāng)偣适碌奈幕忈專ぐl(fā)了讀者的好奇心。

錨：“錨”是連接整篇文章、賦予其意義的觀點(diǎn)或主題。一個(gè)好的“錨”可以發(fā)人深省，讓讀者在讀完文章后感到滿意。

Georgina的“錨”是生活沒(méi)有給她檸檬。她在家里找不到一個(gè)檸檬，于是她不得不發(fā)揮創(chuàng)意，賣(mài)起了不含檸檬的laymounada。這次經(jīng)歷讓她學(xué)會(huì)了堅(jiān)忍不拔的精神，并由此開(kāi)始了一連串的創(chuàng)業(yè)。最后，文章又回到了這個(gè)錨點(diǎn)，將一切串聯(lián)起來(lái)：“當(dāng)生活沒(méi)有給你檸檬的時(shí)候，還是要做檸檬水（或者祖母Teta會(huì)說(shuō)的laymounada）”。

故事：說(shuō)到講故事，黃金法則是“show, don’t tell.（展示，而不是講述）”。不要只告訴招生官你是一個(gè)多么優(yōu)秀的人。相反，要試著通過(guò)你的故事向他們展示你的個(gè)性、品格和成就。

在Georgina的故事中，她分享了讓她難忘的檸檬水?dāng)偨?jīng)歷的所有豐富多彩的細(xì)節(jié)。例如，她在故事中加入了一些有趣的細(xì)節(jié)，比如為了迎合玫瑰花的主題，她將自己的飲料定價(jià)為“五十種香味”。她還開(kāi)玩笑說(shuō)，她賺到的10美元主要來(lái)自于支持她的父母和慷慨的鄰居，他們甚至懶得喝 “l(fā)emonade”。

這些細(xì)節(jié)描繪了Georgina有趣、富有創(chuàng)造力和進(jìn)取心的形象，同時(shí)也展現(xiàn)了她的謙遜。她還很好地融入了自己如何為社區(qū)帶來(lái)影響的動(dòng)力：“在連續(xù)三天不知疲倦地推銷和銷售我們的珠寶之后，我們的收入超過(guò)了900美元，我們決定把這筆錢(qián)捐給教堂”。

成長(zhǎng)：所有優(yōu)秀的大學(xué)申請(qǐng)文書(shū)都會(huì)清楚地展示你是如何從自己的經(jīng)歷中成長(zhǎng)起來(lái)的。一定要突出你從自己的經(jīng)歷中學(xué)到了什么或收獲了什么。

例如，Georgina了解到，她在創(chuàng)業(yè)過(guò)程中缺乏連續(xù)性并不是“巨大的失敗”。相反，這培養(yǎng)了她的好奇心、堅(jiān)持能力和對(duì)商業(yè)的熱愛(ài)。在文章的最后，Georgina顯然是一個(gè)（對(duì)商業(yè)）充滿熱情的人，她有開(kāi)辟自己道路的經(jīng)歷。她能夠從每一次經(jīng)歷中吸取經(jīng)驗(yàn)教訓(xùn)，并將其運(yùn)用到下一次的事業(yè)中。

Georgina抓住了所有四個(gè)關(guān)鍵要素--Hook+Anchor+Story+Growth--這就是這篇文章成功的原因。

"Well-structured"

第二篇范文告訴了我們文書(shū)結(jié)構(gòu)的重要性，在具備相應(yīng)的關(guān)鍵要素后，怎樣合理安排文書(shū)的行進(jìn)也是行文中需要深思熟慮的部分。下面這篇范文很好地展示了文書(shū)中的合理結(jié)構(gòu)會(huì)是怎樣的。

哈佛大學(xué)錄取文書(shū)原文

There’s a theory that even though each color has a specific wavelength that never changes, how people perceive a specific color may have subtle differences based on small differences in photoreceptors, and the color that one person might consider red might still be red in another’s mind but could look different— a little duller, softer, cooler. Furthermore, how a person’s brain processes the color may also be linked to that person’s environment. Some studies have suggested that color sensitivity could be linked to one’s native languages: for example, people who speak languages that have specific names for eleven colors are able to easily distinguish those eleven colors, but people who speak languages with fewer color specific words may have a harder time distinguishing them.

So it appears that even at the most elementary level of sight, the world is not an objective thing. Instead, what we know and what we remember can influence what and how we see. The color blue may just be the color blue to a three year old, perhaps her favorite color even, but an adult might connect it to so much more—the lake by his childhood home or the eye color of a loved one.

I first consciously became aware of the power that our experiences have to change perception when I went to turn on a light in my house after learning about photons in class. What had previously been a mundane light suddenly became a fascinating application of atomic structure, and I thought that I could almost perceive the electrons jumping up and down from energy level to energy level to produce the photons that I saw. I then realized that my world had steadily been changing throughout my years in school as I learned more and more. I now see oligopolies in the soda aisles of the supermarkets. I see the charges warring with each other in every strike of lightning, and the patterns of old American politics still swaying things today. Knowledge and making connections with that knowledge is the difference between seeing the seven oceans glittering in the sun and merely seeing the color blue. It’s the difference between just seeing red and seeing the scarlet of roses blooming, the burgundy of blood pumping through veins, and crimson of anger so fierce that you could burst. Knowledge is color; it is depth, and it is seeing a whole new world without having to move an inch.

It is knowledge, too, that can bring people together. I love listening to people’s stories and hearing about what they know and love, because if I learn about what they know, I can learn how they see the world; consequently, since behavior is often based upon perception, I can understand why a person behaves the way they do. On a road trip during the summer, my mom kept looking up at the streetlights lining the highways. When I asked why, she told me that whenever she saw lights by a highway she would wonder if her company had made them. She would guess how tall they were, how wide, and what style they were. She told me that ever since she started working for her company, lights no longer were just lights to her. They were a story of people who first had to measure the wind speed to figure out what dimension the lights had to be, and then of engineers, of money passing hands—possibly even under her own supervision as an accountant—and then of transportation, and of the people who had to install them. I might never perceive lights the exact way my mother does or see her “red” but by hearing her describe what she knows, I can understand her world and realize her role in ours.
Beauty and color are in the world, but it is seeking the unknown and making new connections that unlocks them from their greyscale cage.

范文參考譯文

有一種理論認(rèn)為，盡管每種顏色都有特定的波長(zhǎng)，而且這種波長(zhǎng)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)改變，但人們對(duì)特定顏色的感知可能會(huì)因感光器的細(xì)微差別而產(chǎn)生微妙的差異。此外，一個(gè)人的大腦如何處理顏色也可能與他所處的環(huán)境有關(guān)。一些研究表明，對(duì)顏色的敏感度可能與一個(gè)人的母語(yǔ)有關(guān)：例如，使用有 11 種顏色特定名稱的語(yǔ)言的人能夠很容易地分辨出這 11 種顏色，但使用顏色特定詞匯較少的語(yǔ)言的人可能較難分辨出這些顏色。

由此看來(lái)，即使在最初級(jí)的視覺(jué)層面，世界也不是客觀存在的。相反，我們的知識(shí)和記憶會(huì)影響我們看到什么以及如何看到。對(duì)于一個(gè)三歲的孩子來(lái)說(shuō)，藍(lán)色可能只是藍(lán)色，甚至可能是她最喜歡的顏色，但對(duì)于一個(gè)成年人來(lái)說(shuō)，藍(lán)色可能與更多的東西聯(lián)系在一起--他兒時(shí)家附近的湖泊，或者是他所愛(ài)的人眼睛的顏色。

當(dāng)我在課堂上學(xué)習(xí)了光子的知識(shí)后，去打開(kāi)家里的一盞燈時(shí)，我第一次有意識(shí)地意識(shí)到，我們的經(jīng)歷具有改變感知的力量。我想，我?guī)缀蹩梢愿兄诫娮釉谀芗?jí)之間上下跳躍，從而產(chǎn)生我所看到的光子。然后我意識(shí)到，隨著我學(xué)到的知識(shí)越來(lái)越多，我的世界在我的求學(xué)生涯中一直在穩(wěn)步變化。現(xiàn)在，我在超市的汽水貨架上看到了寡頭壟斷。

我看到每一道閃電中的電荷都在相互交戰(zhàn)，舊美國(guó)政治的模式至今仍在左右著一切。知識(shí)與知識(shí)之間的聯(lián)系，是看到七大洋在陽(yáng)光下閃閃發(fā)光與僅僅看到藍(lán)色之間的區(qū)別。這是只看到紅色與看到玫瑰綻放的猩紅、血管中血液流動(dòng)的酒紅、憤怒到讓人爆裂的深紅之間的區(qū)別。知識(shí)就是色彩，知識(shí)就是深度，知識(shí)就是不需要移動(dòng)一寸，就能看到一個(gè)全新的世界。

知識(shí)還能將人們團(tuán)結(jié)在一起。我喜歡聽(tīng)別人講故事，聽(tīng)他們講述自己的所知所愛(ài)，因?yàn)槿绻伊私饬怂麄兊乃鶒?ài)，我就能知道他們是如何看待這個(gè)世界的。在暑假的一次公路旅行中，我媽媽一直抬頭看著公路兩旁的路燈。當(dāng)我問(wèn)起原因時(shí)，她告訴我，每當(dāng)她看到公路旁的路燈時(shí)，她就會(huì)想這些路燈是不是她的公司制造的。她會(huì)猜這些路燈有多高，有多寬，是什么款式。

她告訴我，自從她開(kāi)始在自己的公司工作后，燈對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)就不再只是燈了。對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)，電燈不再只是電燈，而是一個(gè)故事：首先，人們要測(cè)量風(fēng)速，以確定電燈的尺寸；然后，工程師們要測(cè)量風(fēng)速，以確定電燈的尺寸；最后，錢(qián)要轉(zhuǎn)手--甚至可能是在她作為會(huì)計(jì)的監(jiān)督下轉(zhuǎn)手--然后是運(yùn)輸，以及安裝電燈的人。我可能永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法像母親那樣準(zhǔn)確地感知燈光，也無(wú)法看到她的 "紅色"，但通過(guò)聽(tīng)她描述她所知道的一切，我可以理解她的世界，并認(rèn)識(shí)到她在我們世界中的作用。

美和色彩就在這個(gè)世界上，但只有尋求未知，建立新的聯(lián)系，才能將它們從灰暗的牢籠中解救出來(lái)。

專業(yè)點(diǎn)評(píng)

Amy以“求知欲”為中心，用生動(dòng)的描述性語(yǔ)言，將引人入勝的科學(xué)理論、色彩研究和視覺(jué)聯(lián)系起來(lái)，展示了有限/廣博的知識(shí)如何塑造我們的現(xiàn)實(shí)和經(jīng)歷，從而寫(xiě)出了一篇引人注目、發(fā)人深省的文章。

整篇文章體現(xiàn)了Amy不斷學(xué)習(xí)的熱情和成長(zhǎng)，她將自己的知識(shí)與周?chē)h(huán)境聯(lián)系起來(lái)，尋找隱藏的真理。一個(gè)人可以通過(guò)了解他人的知識(shí)或故事來(lái)理解他人的行為或感知，這是一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單而深刻的宏觀主題--對(duì)知識(shí)、真理、分享想法和經(jīng)驗(yàn)的好奇心無(wú)疑可以將許多人聚集在一起。這讓我想起了狹義相對(duì)論和廣義相對(duì)論的發(fā)現(xiàn)者阿爾伯特-愛(ài)因斯坦的著名自白："我沒(méi)有什么特殊才能。我只有強(qiáng)烈的好奇心"。

這篇文章的結(jié)構(gòu)非常合理，每一段都進(jìn)一步闡明了Amy對(duì)新信息和聯(lián)系的渴望。

1-2段中，她首先介紹了一個(gè)引人入勝的科學(xué)背景，即盡管顏色具有特定的波長(zhǎng)，但對(duì)于兩個(gè)人來(lái)說(shuō)，會(huì)說(shuō)的語(yǔ)言不同，視覺(jué)效果也會(huì)不同。這很吸引人，我想讀下去！她天衣無(wú)縫地將有關(guān)色彩的理論和研究結(jié)合在一起，從而推斷出我們的世界并不是一個(gè)放之四海而皆準(zhǔn)的旅程，我們各自的教育和經(jīng)歷會(huì)改變我們的所見(jiàn)所聞。

在第 3 段中，艾米展示了她的第一個(gè)“A-ha”時(shí)刻，她意識(shí)到并形象地描述了她在課堂上學(xué)到的光子粒子從她的“平凡之光”中發(fā)出的真正科學(xué)過(guò)程！她的大腦像海綿一樣，在不斷成長(zhǎng)的世界中吸收著新的數(shù)據(jù)流，開(kāi)始將日常活動(dòng)與經(jīng)濟(jì)、自然現(xiàn)象和政治等大局觀念聯(lián)系起來(lái)。這一點(diǎn)闡述得非常清楚！

第 4 段是實(shí)打?qū)嵉膅amechanger。她的“從教育到社會(huì)理解”的口號(hào)進(jìn)一步啟示我們：教育、開(kāi)放的心態(tài)以及了解他人的故事和經(jīng)歷的確可以在看似不同的世界之間架起橋梁。Amy最后以自己的母親對(duì)高速公路路燈的認(rèn)識(shí)為例，說(shuō)明任何人都可以將自己的知識(shí)、經(jīng)驗(yàn)與環(huán)境聯(lián)系起來(lái)。最后，Amy以自己的人生智慧和對(duì)“尋找未知，建立聯(lián)系”的清晰反思作為結(jié)尾，結(jié)束了文書(shū)。

總之，Amy得出了一個(gè)有力的結(jié)論：教育、同理心、傾聽(tīng)、理解和聯(lián)系，都是她對(duì)生活充滿激情的動(dòng)力。艾米說(shuō)她渴望了解萬(wàn)事萬(wàn)物，尤其是人，她把自己描繪成一個(gè)充滿好奇心、討人喜歡的學(xué)生--是一個(gè)充滿活力的學(xué)術(shù)團(tuán)體的理想成員。

"Aisle Essay"

當(dāng)你面對(duì)空白文檔時(shí)，腦袋里蹦出了一萬(wàn)個(gè)非寫(xiě)不可的故事或思路，你要怎樣將它們串聯(lián)起來(lái)？第三篇范文給出了一個(gè)解法，“aisle essay”這一方法可以將小標(biāo)題們串聯(lián)起來(lái)，使得文章統(tǒng)一且合乎邏輯。

哈佛大學(xué)錄取文書(shū)原文

Barreling through the hallowed, mahogany double doors, I was on a mission. I made a beeline for the back. Behold, a panoply of new prospects, each beckoning me to read them.

Every weekend, my father, my sister, and I make the pilgrimage to Book Mecca. The sensations one meets upon entering Barnes and Noble are unmatched. The aroma of coffee mingles with the crisp perfume of unopened books, and the tinny music drifts from the ceiling speakers, coalescing with the clanking of the Cafe equipment, which is intermittently overcome by the barista's peppy voice on the PA system announcing the latest limited-edition dessert. Where else can one enjoy a triple-layer cheesecake among bookstacks? As Virginia Woolf says, "one cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."

My family, however, dines on knowledge. To us, Barnes and Noble is an all-you-can-eat buffet for the mind. After we snag our favorite corner table, I sit, like metal to a magnet, immovable for hours.

I may delve into an Agatha Christie novel and attempt to outwit Detective Poirot; though I never win, I find the sleuthing remarkably similar to analyzing confounders the culprits of unexpected results-in my clinical research. Alternatively, I may crack open an atlas to test my memory from the summer when I memorized the entire world map. Or, I might read Animal Farm to better understand the system that ravaged Ethiopia in the late 20th century and forced my grandfather to flee his own village.

Complimenting this mission to satisfy our voracious minds comes an equally important fulfillment: engaging with the coterie of miscellaneous characters we have befriended. After visiting the same Barnes and Noble for eleven years, we have forged friendships with several regulars, including a retired teacher couple, an octogenarian with a seven-year-old brother, and an eternally sunburned man named George who shelters feral cats at his pool company's office. After a dear Barnes and Noble-goer passed away, my heart was comforted when I read in her obituary that she, indeed, would be missed by "the old [bookstore] gang." United by their good humor and love for Barnes and Noble, this unlikely group teaches me that a community can form around anything, no matter how disparate the members are. They show me that, in Aristotle's words, "educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all."

While I have the luxury of Barnes and Noble, my father's reality growing up in rural Ethiopia bears a stark contrast and defines my legacy of education. He received a meager education in a laughable schoolhouse, using sunlight to study by day, and the moonlight by night. When he was nine, my grandfather opened a school so my father could continue beyond 4th grade, unlike many of his peers. My grandfather had no formal education, yet he knew the country's constitution by heart and exhorted nearby villages to educate their children.

My father's dedication to chauffeuring me to the bookstore and the library is an artifact of his father's same dedication. And I am the accumulation of this legacy. Behind me are all of the sacrifices and payoffs of my family's dedication to education, and before me is a lifetime of opportunity and fulfillment. Though I have never met my grandfather, I feel an incredibly palpable connection to him through our shared fervor to learn and teach. My father's and grandfather's stories remind me that education is not a commodity for many, but a privilege that I treat as such. I cherish all of my education's wonderful consequences: the obscure curiosities I have indulged in, the strong sense of identity I have developed, the discernment and morals I have bolstered, the respect I have gained for different viewpoints, and the ambition for excellence that I have inherited and extended. They are what fuel me, my college education, and my drive to pay it forward.

范文參考譯文

沖進(jìn)神圣的紅木雙門(mén)，我就有了使命感。我徑直向后面走去。看啊，一排排新書(shū)，每一本都在向我招手，讓我讀一讀。

每個(gè)周末，父親、姐姐和我都會(huì)去圖書(shū)圣地朝圣。一走進(jìn)巴諾書(shū)店，就會(huì)有無(wú)與倫比的感覺(jué)。咖啡的香氣與未開(kāi)封書(shū)籍的清香交織在一起，天花板上的揚(yáng)聲器里飄出刺耳的音樂(lè)，與咖啡館設(shè)備的叮當(dāng)聲匯合在一起，間或還有咖啡師在擴(kuò)音系統(tǒng)中播報(bào)最新限量版甜點(diǎn)的歡快聲音。還有什么地方能在書(shū)架間品嘗到三層芝士蛋糕呢？正如弗吉尼亞-伍爾夫（Virginia Woolf）所說(shuō)，"如果一個(gè)人沒(méi)有好好用餐，就無(wú)法好好思考、好好戀愛(ài)、好好睡覺(jué)"。

然而，我的家人卻以知識(shí)為餐。對(duì)我們來(lái)說(shuō)，巴諾書(shū)店就是一個(gè)任你享用的心靈自助餐廳。在我們搶到最喜歡的角落桌子后，我就坐在那里，就像磁鐵吸住了金屬，幾個(gè)小時(shí)紋絲不動(dòng)。
我可能會(huì)鉆進(jìn)阿加莎-克里斯蒂的小說(shuō)里，試圖智取波洛偵探；雖然我從來(lái)沒(méi)有贏過(guò)，但我發(fā)現(xiàn)這種探案方式與我在臨床研究中分析混淆因素（造成意外結(jié)果的罪魁禍?zhǔn)祝┑姆绞椒浅Ｏ嗨啤；蛘撸乙矔?huì)打開(kāi)一本地圖冊(cè)，測(cè)試一下自己的記憶力，那個(gè)夏天我背下了整個(gè)世界地圖。或者，我可能會(huì)閱讀《動(dòng)物農(nóng)場(chǎng)》，以便更好地理解 20 世紀(jì)末肆虐埃塞俄比亞、迫使我祖父逃離自己村莊的制度。

除了滿足我們貪婪的欲望，還有一個(gè)同樣重要的成就感：與我們結(jié)交的小圈子里的各種人物打交道。十一年來(lái)，我們一直光顧同一家巴諾書(shū)店，與幾位常客建立了友誼，其中包括一對(duì)退休教師夫婦、一位帶著一個(gè)七歲弟弟的八旬老人，以及一位永遠(yuǎn)曬不黑的名叫喬治的男子，他在泳池公司的辦公室里收容野貓。一位親愛(ài)的巴諾書(shū)店顧客去世后，當(dāng)我在她的訃告中讀到 "老（書(shū)店）幫 "會(huì)懷念她時(shí)，我的心得到了安慰。他們的幽默和對(duì)《巴恩斯與諾布爾》的熱愛(ài)將這個(gè)不太可能的團(tuán)體團(tuán)結(jié)在一起，他們告訴我，無(wú)論成員之間有多大的差異，任何事情都可以形成一個(gè)團(tuán)體。他們告訴我，用亞里士多德的話說(shuō)，"沒(méi)有心靈教育的思想教育根本不是教育"。

雖然我擁有豪華的巴諾書(shū)店，但我父親在埃塞俄比亞農(nóng)村長(zhǎng)大的現(xiàn)實(shí)卻形成了鮮明的對(duì)比，也決定了我的教育遺產(chǎn)。他在一個(gè)可笑的校舍里接受了微薄的教育，白天利用陽(yáng)光學(xué)習(xí)，晚上利用月光學(xué)習(xí)。父親九歲時(shí)，我的祖父開(kāi)辦了一所學(xué)校，這樣父親就能繼續(xù)讀完四年級(jí)，這與許多同齡人不同。我的祖父沒(méi)有受過(guò)正規(guī)教育，但他對(duì)國(guó)家憲法了如指掌，并勸說(shuō)附近的村莊讓他們的孩子接受教育。

我父親開(kāi)車(chē)接送我去書(shū)店和圖書(shū)館，這也是他父親奉獻(xiàn)精神的體現(xiàn)。而我就是這份遺產(chǎn)的積累。在我的身后，是我的家庭為教育所付出的所有犧牲和回報(bào)，而在我的面前，則是一生的機(jī)遇和成就。雖然我從未見(jiàn)過(guò)我的祖父，但通過(guò)我們對(duì)學(xué)習(xí)和教學(xué)的共同熱忱，我感到了與他之間令人難以置信的聯(lián)系。父親和祖父的故事提醒我，教育對(duì)許多人來(lái)說(shuō)不是商品，而是我的特權(quán)。我珍惜教育所帶來(lái)的一切美好結(jié)果：我沉迷于晦澀難懂的好奇心，我培養(yǎng)了強(qiáng)烈的身份認(rèn)同感，我增強(qiáng)了辨別力和道德感，我獲得了對(duì)不同觀點(diǎn)的尊重，我繼承并擴(kuò)展了追求卓越的雄心壯志。它們是我的動(dòng)力，是我的大學(xué)教育，也是我回報(bào)社會(huì)的動(dòng)力。

專業(yè)點(diǎn)評(píng)

Abby的文章非常出色。以下是她的做法，以及你也可以這樣做的方法：

Abby使用了一種我稱之為“aisle essay（過(guò)道式文書(shū)）”的方法。想象一下，推著購(gòu)物車(chē)穿過(guò)雜貨店，挑選自己喜歡的食物并將它們放在購(gòu)物車(chē)?yán)铩?/p>

在“aisle essay”中，作者推著一輛諺語(yǔ)式的購(gòu)物車(chē)走過(guò)她的過(guò)去、現(xiàn)在和未來(lái)，一路上收集她的軼事、興趣和價(jià)值觀。將購(gòu)物車(chē)視為文章的背景，Abby的購(gòu)物車(chē)就是Barnes & Noble（巴諾書(shū)店）。

這個(gè)堅(jiān)定的背景將文章置于一個(gè)易于描繪的世界中，讓Abby可以深入到她生活的不同層面，而不會(huì)讓文章顯得散亂。只要在購(gòu)物車(chē)中找到文章中的每個(gè)小標(biāo)題，文章就會(huì)讀起來(lái)像一篇統(tǒng)一的、合乎邏輯的文章。

在Abby的例子中，她利用圖書(shū)館的書(shū)籍和咖啡館巧妙地轉(zhuǎn)向她的個(gè)人敘事。偵探小說(shuō)讓人想起她的“臨床研究”。提到《動(dòng)物農(nóng)場(chǎng)》，她就會(huì)提起祖父的非凡故事。通過(guò)描述她在咖啡館形成的古怪社區(qū)，艾比向我們展示了她是一個(gè)善于與人溝通的人，她因與人交往而興奮，并被她所遇到的人銘記。因此，雖然這篇文章發(fā)生在巴諾書(shū)店，但這并不是它的主題，巴諾書(shū)店只是向我們講述Abby的一個(gè)舞臺(tái)。

Abby在文章的最后明確提出了她的核心價(jià)值觀：感恩。她沒(méi)有夸大其詞，夸張地宣稱她將改變或拯救世界。相反，她只是向我們展示了一個(gè)真實(shí)的自己：一個(gè)經(jīng)常光顧書(shū)店的充滿好奇心的女孩--一個(gè)從自己的過(guò)去中汲取靈感，在未來(lái)的紅木大門(mén)中奮力前行的人。

你能想到一個(gè)屬于你的典型環(huán)境嗎？在你的aisle essay中，你會(huì)從書(shū)架上抓住哪些興趣和價(jià)值觀？

關(guān)于文書(shū)寫(xiě)作技巧

由于篇幅有限，本期我們暫時(shí)分享以上三篇，而這三篇文書(shū)也相應(yīng)展示了文書(shū)寫(xiě)作中常用但關(guān)鍵的技巧方法。

選擇合適的技巧方法會(huì)使得你的文書(shū)出奇制勝，同時(shí)也可以使你盡可能在招生官面前展示你同一的自我。

另外也請(qǐng)記住，真正意義上的寫(xiě)作一直都應(yīng)該是以人為本的寫(xiě)作，動(dòng)筆寫(xiě)作前，請(qǐng)先反思好自己到底是誰(shuí)，為什么你之所以為你。