第三文化孩子：一個文化變色龍的自述

I was born in Beijing, attended schools in the states, studied abroad in Seoul, worked in New York, Hong Kong, and now, back in China. I’m what you might call a “Third Culture Kid” (TCK), a global nomad if you will.

我出生在北京，在美國求學(xué)，后來到首爾留學(xué)，曾在紐約和香港工作?，F(xiàn)在，我又回到了中國。我就是大家口中的“第三文化的孩子”（TCK），一個環(huán)球游歷者（Global Nomad）。

My journey as a TCK began when my parents decided to pull me out of a Chinese public school for education in the states. Call it forward-thinking (or reckless parenting), I was parachuted off at the age of fourteen to a beautiful boarding high school near the ocean with an equally wonderland sounding slogan – school by the sea, Tabor Academy.

我的TCK之旅從我的父母把我從中國的公立學(xué)校轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)去美國開始。說是前瞻性思維也好，魯莽的父母也罷，十四歲的時候，我被空投到了一個美麗的臨海寄宿中學(xué)。這個學(xué)校有一個仙境般的標語——海邊的學(xué)校，泰伯學(xué)院。

As one of the first Chinese students in the private boarding school system, I’ve always felt within and without. Yes, I picked up the language and cultural nuances quickly; I mimicked the way American students acted until mimicking became habit, and habit became second nature; I even started dreaming in English. Yet, there was always a part of me that felt foreign.

作為進入寄宿學(xué)校體系的第一位中國學(xué)生，我時常感到游離。是的，我很快地過了語言關(guān)，迅速熟悉了美國文化；我模仿著美國學(xué)生的行為，直到模仿成了習(xí)慣，習(xí)慣成了自然；我甚至開始在夢里說起了英語。然而，我還是感覺自己無法完全融入國外的環(huán)境。

It wasn’t until I read about a term coined “1.5 generation” or the “1.5ers” did I start to understand my lingering feeling of alienation. In 1999, UCLA anthropologist Kyeyoung Park first used this term to describe the growing Korean population in the states.

直到我讀到一個詞“1.5代人”或“1.5類人”，我才開始明白為什么我會有揮之不去的疏離感。1999年，UCLA的人類學(xué)家Kyeyoung Park第一次使用這個詞來描述在美國逐漸增長的韓國人口。

Dr. Rubén G. Rumbaut conducted further research in 2004 on Americans growing up abroad and assessed their language ability, education and career. Rumbaut’s results showed that a new term is needed to describe those who are neither first nor second generation immigrants in order to pinpoint the complexity of this group. Then, according to sociologist David C. Pollock, the term “Third Culture Kid” (TCK) is introduced to describe a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture.

2004年，Rubén G. Rumbaut博士對在國外長大的美國人的語言能力、教育和職業(yè)生涯進行了進一步的研究。Rumbaut的研究結(jié)果表明，為了準確描述那些既不是第一代移民也不是二代移民的群體的復(fù)雜性，我們需要一個新的名詞。之后，社會學(xué)家David C. Pollock提出了“第三文化的孩子”（TCK）這一概念，用來描述在非祖國環(huán)境下度過了自身的重要發(fā)展階段的群體。

Finally, I belong to a group after all.
終于，我有了屬于自己的群體。

In the increasingly globalized world we live in, TCKs are not uncommon. Yet, optimizing your life as a TCK does not come easily. As I navigated in different communities, friends back home would comment that I’ve turned into an ABC (American born Chinese) while friends stateside would ask why I’m so obsessed with ramen and Korean drama. At times, remarks could be flattering and well-intentioned: “wow, you sound like a native English speaker!”; but at times, they could also be hurtful and offensive.

在我們生活的這個日益全球化的世界中，TCK并不少見。然而，作為一個TCK，美好的生活卻來之不易。我經(jīng)常穿行在不同的社交圈內(nèi)，家鄉(xiāng)的朋友見到我，會說我已經(jīng)變成了一個ABC（美國出生的華人），美國的朋友則會問我為什么如此癡迷拉面和韓劇。有時，評論可能是善意的贊美：“哇，你的英語聽起來像母語一樣地道！“但有時，也有可能是傷害和冒犯。

I tried to find my comfort zone among different groups, somewhat awkwardly. I allocated my time carefully to sit with American friends in the dining room, but mingled with international students in the academic center. In the process, I became more aware of my surroundings and myself. It was as if I adopted the skills of a chameleon, except that my specialty is not color, but culture.

我努力嘗試在不同的群體中找到我的舒適區(qū)，這過程中難免會有尷尬的時候。我小心翼翼地抽出時間和美國朋友在餐廳里聊天，和國際學(xué)生在學(xué)術(shù)中心交流。在這個過程中，我對自己和周圍的環(huán)境有了更多的認識。就好像我有變色龍的技能一樣，只不過我變化的不是顏色，而是文化。

Then, college rolled around and my wish to meet more TCKs was eventually granted. At Princeton, I met Aditi, who was born in Mumbai but grew up in Hong Kong and studied in the UK; I befriended Sam, who spoke six languages and attended 10 different schools across the world; I connected with Brian, who grew up in Egypt, lived in Bermuda, Malaysia then Brazil, but referred to himself as a “diehard Canadian”.

之后，我進入了大學(xué)，想要遇見更多TCK的愿望也隨之達成。在普林斯頓，我遇到了Aditi，她出生在孟買，在香港長大，在英國上學(xué)；我結(jié)識了山姆，他會說六種語言，參加了橫跨全世界的10個不同的學(xué)校；我認識了布瑞恩，他在埃及長大，住在百慕大群島，馬來西和巴西，但卻把自己稱作是一個“頑固的加拿大人”。

Like me, they struggled to answer questions such as “so where are you really from?” (hmm…do you mean my nationality? Where I was born? Where I live now? Or where my parents live?). They also once wondered whether life would be different to truly belong somewhere. But eventually, we all came to the conclusion that instead of trying to fit into one, it is our unique privilege and blessing to embrace many.

像我一樣，他們很努力地想回答這樣的問題，“你從哪里來？”（“嗯……你是說我的國籍嗎？”我出生在哪里？我現(xiàn)在住哪里？或者我父母住在哪里？）他們也曾想過，如果只呆在某一個地方，生活會不會很不一樣。但最終，我們都得出這樣的結(jié)論：與其努力地適應(yīng)一個環(huán)境，不如利用我們的優(yōu)勢去擁抱更多不同的文化。

As I work with the next generation of students who eagerly prepare for education opportunities abroad, I envision their roads ahead as budding TCKs who blossom into leaders of tomorrow. BBC’s recent report indicates that in a future world dominated by automation, the most sought-after and irreplaceable skills are: creativity, communication, and building complex human relationships.

我平常會跟希望去國外深造的下一代們一起工作，想象著這些還在人生萌芽階段的TCKs一步步綻放成為未來的領(lǐng)袖。英國廣播公司（BBC）最近的報告指出，在由自動化主宰的未來世界中，最受歡迎且不可替代的技能是：創(chuàng)造力、溝通能力和建立復(fù)雜的人際關(guān)系的能力。

Interestingly, TCKs are born into an environment naturally conducive to the development of these core competencies. Of course, there would be feelings of displacement and loneliness, but the possibilities for the future are endless as TCKs choose to be whoever they want, wherever they go, bearing in mind that home is where the heart is. To me, they are truly the citizens of the world.

有趣的是，TCK出生在一個原本就對發(fā)展這些核心競爭力大有裨益的環(huán)境中。當(dāng)然，會有游離和孤獨的感覺，但TCK的未來充滿了無限的可能，他們可以選擇他們想要的東西，想去的地方，而把家，深深的埋藏在心底。對我來說，TCK才是真正的世界公民。

Being a TCK has given me a sense of freedom. My many colors as a chameleon are a storyboard of who I am. I feel grateful for the experiences I’ve had as I gradually built myself an identity that is a collection of pieces, each of which I’ve handpicked – some Chinese, some American, some Korean…all of which not mutually exclusive, but seamlessly complementary to form all of me. Being a TCK doesn’t mean that I don’t belong to any particular place; it means I choose to belong to many.

成為TCK給了我自由的感覺。我這個變色龍的每一種顏色都在講述著我的故事。我非常感激過往的這些經(jīng)歷，是它們塑造了我的個性，一些中國的、一些美國的、一些韓國的，等等，每一面都是我精心挑選的。所有這些都不會相互排斥，而是無縫互補形成了我的所有。作為一個TCK并不意味著我不屬于任何地方，TCK意味著我可以選擇更多。

給TCK們的建議面對跨文化溝通你有成為有效溝通者的天然優(yōu)勢請練習(xí)你天生的敏銳觀察能力當(dāng)你感到孤獨沒有歸屬感的時候多關(guān)注相似性，少看差異偉人們，像孫中山、奧巴馬都是TCK

這有沒有讓你感覺好一些呢誠實當(dāng)你真誠地對待他人和自己時你會感到更自在不要逼迫自己去融入某個圈子請給“你來自哪里”這個問題準備一個簡短的答案和一個長答案根據(jù)提問者來選擇答案你真正的朋友非常有可能也是TCK因為相似會讓人們產(chǎn)生好感你將面臨更復(fù)雜的關(guān)系即：時區(qū)，語言，文化等等所以更重要的是付出努力去維護你的關(guān)系給TCK父母的建議（父母不是TCK）不要將你自己的價值體系強加到你的孩子身上請學(xué)會欣賞這些差異當(dāng)你反對并且想要改變差異的時候

請先試著去理解它們?nèi)绻赡艿脑捊o自己營造一個跟孩子相仿的環(huán)境這樣你可以更好地理解你的孩子例如，當(dāng)你的孩子開始在國外學(xué)習(xí)或進入國際學(xué)校時

你可以學(xué)習(xí)一下英語為開放的溝通營造一個安全的環(huán)境請認真傾聽不要做任何評論也不要太快提供解決方案

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本期作者NiniNini融尚私塾創(chuàng)始人 & 首席獨立教育顧問