美國TOP大學文書喜好盤點，藤校青睞怎樣的申請文書呢？

Personal Statement （個人陳述）作為申請中的一項重要材料，一定程度上決定了招生官對你的“第一印象”。

PS的發揮空間非常靈活，更加注重個人的個性化展示。有的學校還會出特定的話題，要求申請人圍繞特定的話題展開分享一段的見解。

下面小林就帶大家一起看一看美國TOP大學都對哪些類型的文書情有獨鐘吧~

1美國TOP大學文書喜好盤點

專注于文書研究的平臺Admitsee曾發布過一份調查，通過匯總整理539 份斯坦福大學錄取文書和 393 份哈佛大學錄取文書后發現：

斯坦福大學的錄取文書中常常出現——happy（快樂）passion（熱情）better（更好）improve（進步）這類積極改變的詞匯。

而在哈佛大學的錄取文書中——cancer（癌癥）difficult（困難）hard（艱難）tough（艱苦）等相對消極、苦難的詞匯出現的頻率更高。

仔細研究文書的內容，相關人員發現斯坦福大學更偏向于在文書中看到學生個人特質或者是有創造性的個人和家庭的故事。

而相比之下哈佛大學則對學生的成功以及克服困難的過程更感興趣，這個特點從2022錄取哈佛的文書中也能看出！

哈佛大學

哈佛大學非常愿意看到你在文書中展現你有多么強大，無論是成績還是思考深度，最好是經歷了種種困難后取得的巨大成功。

哈佛優秀文書：十三年無家可歸

誠實的、令人心碎、強大的，這是閱讀Eda的文章后首先想到的三個詞。

Eda通過文書不僅僅是告訴招生官關于她的旅程，更強調了她的旅程是多么不典型。

招生官被她能夠克服任何苦難的決心所吸引，這樣的品質將會讓Eda將成為一名強大申請者。

文書內容展示：
I sat on my parents’ bed weeping with my head resting on my knees. “Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you have to show me the house and then take it away from me?” Hopelessly, I found myself praying to God realizing it was my last resort.

For years, my family and I found ourselves moving from country to country in hopes of a better future. Factors, such as war and lack of academic opportunities, led my parents to pack their bags and embark on a new journey for our family around the world. Our arduous journey first began in Ku?ov?, Albania, then Athens, Greece, and then eventually, Boston, Massachusetts. Throughout those years, although my family always had a roof over our heads, I never had a place I could call “home.”

That night that I prayed to God, my mind raced back to the night I was clicking the delete button on my e-mails, but suddenly stopped when I came upon a listing of the house. It was September 22, 2007 —eight years exactly to the day that my family and I had moved to the United States. Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me. I remembered visiting that yellow house the next day with my parents and falling in love with it. However, I also remembered the heartbreaking phone call I received later on that week saying that the owners had chosen another family’s offer.

A week after I had prayed to God, I had given up any hopes of my family buying the house. One day after school, I unlocked the door to our one-bedroom apartment and walked over to the telephone only to see it flashing a red light. I clicked PLAY and unexpectedly heard the voice of our real estate agent. “Eda!” she said joyfully. “The deal fell through with the other family—the house is yours! Call me back immediately to get started on the papers.” For a moment, I stood agape and kept replaying the words in my head. Was this really happening to me? Was my dream of owning a home finally coming true?

Over the month of November, I spent my days going to school and immediately rushing home to make phone calls. Although my parents were not fluent enough in English to communicate with the bank and real estate agent, I knew that I was not going to allow this obstacle to hinder my dream of helping to purchase a home for my family. Thus, unlike a typical thirteen-year-old girl’s conversations, my phone calls did not involve the mention of makeup, shoes, or boys. Instead, my conversations were composed of terms, such as “fixed-rate mortgages,” “preapprovals,” and “down payments.” Nevertheless, I was determined to help purchase this home after thirteen years of feeling embarrassed from living in a one-bedroom apartment. No longer was I going to experience feelings of humiliation from not being able to host sleepovers with my friends or from not being able to gossip with girls in school about who had the prettiest room color.

I had been homeless for the first thirteen years of my life. Although I will never be able to fully repay my parents for all of their sacrifices, the least I could do was to help find them a home that they could call their own—and that year, I did. To me, a home means more than the general conception of “four walls and a roof.” A home is a place filled with memories and laughter from my family. No matter where my future may lead me, I know that if at times I feel alone, I will always have a yellow home with my family inside waiting for me.

文書點評：
What we love about Eda’s essay is its refreshing vulnerability. Too many college essays are “too” picture-perfect. Eda doesn’t censor the truth, even if admitting her inner thoughts may potentially paint her in a negative light. For example, she starts the entire essay with a scene of her weeping on her parents’ bed, blaming them for her misfortune. By being so honest, Eda showcases her genuine growth and maturity over time.

Her personal voice is also strong throughout the essay. When she talks about falling in love with “that yellow house,” an image of said house is automatically conjured up in our minds. When she speaks of the heartbreak she experienced upon learning “that yellow house” was sold to another family, we felt pain in our hearts too. Her deliberate choice to “PLAY” the voicemail she received for us and include her subsequent internal thoughts further pulls us into reliving her journey with her.

Yet, she goes beyond merely telling us of her journey. She highlights just how atypical her journey has been. Instead of enjoying phone conversations about makeup or shoes, she is talking to agents about fix-rate mortgages and down payments… all at the age of 13. Though she does not explicitly state this (she doesn’t need to): it is clear that Eda has had to grow up fast, becoming a stronger individual as a result.

Her understanding of the word “home” evolves from a physical roof over her head to a more abstract one. Home is wherever her “memories and laughter” exist. In the end, she comes to terms with the sacrifices her parents have made. Learning to be proud of her upbringing showcases Eda’s evolution.

Eda is someone who will overcome whatever challenges thrown her way, making her a strong college applicant.

此外，哈佛大學的招生官在點評中經常出現的一句是“申請人的文書開頭......”可見，哈佛大學的招生官同樣也非常注重PS開頭是否能吸引他們繼續讀下去。

哈佛大學2022錄取優秀文書
和招生官點評合集
大家可以掃描二維碼獲取哦~

約翰霍普金斯大學
JHU的文書以及點評相較于哈佛就非常輕松，招生官們在點評中會更著重點評申請人的創新能力、獨到的價值觀和見解、個人興趣的發展。

JHU優秀文書：后翼棄兵
作者深思熟慮地將他從國際象棋中學到的教訓與他在足球場上的表現聯系起來，而不是對整個國際象棋比賽或足球比賽的逐個敘述。

同時他也展現了他可以將一門學科中學到的知識應用到另一門學科中的超強能力，潛移默化地向招生官證明自己的無限潛力。

文書內容展示：
I was thoroughly confused. I thought I had procured the complete solution to this elaborate chess puzzle. What am I missing? A knight fork, a bishop move? Am I in check? After a quick glance at the left side of the board, I slapped my hand on my head as I suddenly realized what my chess coach was telling me. My queen was sitting unused, positioned all the way on the other side of the board, and I had no idea. If I were to sacrifice my queen, the opposing rook would be forced to capture it, allowing me to finish the game in style with the illustrious “smothered mate.”

If you begin to look at the whole chessboard, then these puzzles will become a breeze for you.

Ever since that chess lesson, those words have stuck. Indeed, my chess skills improved swiftly as my rating flew over the 1000 Elo threshold in a matter of months. However, those words did not merely pertain to chess. Looking at the whole picture became a foundational skill that I have utilized throughout my life in school and other endeavors. I particularly remember making use of it on the soccer field.

Now, I’m no Arnold Schwarzenegger. Weighing in at a monstrous 125 pounds and standing 5 foot 8 inches, my opponents made it a habit to tackle me to the ground. Once again, I found myself face to face with the defender, and before I knew it, I crumbled to the ground, left isolated and dispossessed. Laying dazed on the pitch, my mind flashed back to the chessboard. It occurred to me that soccer, much like chess, relies on the proper position of the many pieces that combine to create a finished strategy. The “whole picture” of soccer is not just how fast or strong one is or how many tackles you put in; that is only one element of the puzzle. The intelligence and creativity needed in a playmaker is also an essential part of a well-rounded soccer team. I realized that my most significant advantage would always be my in-depth understanding of the game of soccer—where to pass the ball, when to make a run, if the ball should be in the air or driven. I picked myself off the ground, and when that same defender came barreling towards me again, I was zoned in, oblivious to the noise around me. I chipped the ball into the open space right behind him, knowing my teammate would run into the space without even looking. From then on, I continued to hone my skills through intense practice to become the best playmaker I could be, working in conjunction with my faster and stronger teammates to become a well-balanced, unified team.

Through chess and soccer, I have discovered that every piece in a puzzle has a purpose. This new perspective has enhanced my ability to stop, stand back, and analyze the whole picture in the many dimensions of my life. In my scientific studies, it was not enough to examine just one C. reinhardtii cell, but it was necessary to zoom out the microscope to capture all of the thousand cells to truly understand quorum sensing and its consequences. In my studies of music, it was not enough to listen to the melody of the finale of Beethoven’s 9th symphony, but one must realize that the true beauty of the composition lies in the whole orchestra handing off this simple melody to every instrument. All these facets—music, research, soccer, chess—are not only completed puzzles but also parts of a greater whole: my life. Every aspect of myself matters as much as the other. As high school comes to an end, the pieces on my board are set, and I only have success in mind.

Your move.

文書點評：
Dante’s essay makes it clear to the reader that he is very curious and has many interests by showing more than telling. He thoughtfully connects the lessons he’s learned from chess to his performance on the soccer field and does a great job of focusing on what he learned as opposed to a blow-by-blow recount of the entire chess match or soccer game. The reader is also able to see that Dante can apply what he learns in one subject to another, which is essential to succeeding academically at Hopkins. Our admissions committee can read this essay and find clear evidence that Dante’s way of thinking would help him thrive in our interdisciplinary curriculum.

埃默里大學
埃默里大學的招生官非常強調個人是否具有冒險精神和強烈的好奇心。

埃默里大學優秀文書
在文書的開頭，作者巧妙地表達出跨學科學習的開放性，以及通識教育的特質。

另外他在文書中闡述了自己致力于改善社區的美好愿景：成為一名具有社會責任感的人，令TA在招生環節中獲得了更多友好的關注。

文書內容展示：
“How prone to doubt, how cautious are the wise!”
-Homer

“D’oh!”
-Homer Simpson

I’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.

“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.

The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.

Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.

Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”

文書點評：
In reading through this personal statement, there are a few key themes which come through. First, the approach to learning is positive, thoughtful, and reflective. Particularly in the opening section, the love of learning which centers on the course material and not so much the course name is evident. Additionally, the openness to learning across a variety of academic disciplines comes through in the narrative. Learning new and different disciplines is a hallmark of the liberal arts experience and the author demonstrates this expertly.

Another theme in this essay is the use of knowledge to make change. The author illustrates a personal will, perhaps gumption, to improve the community in a meaningful way. While it may be perceived as small, the ability to create change in a community is important to its evolution. Being an engaged community citizen manifests itself nicely in this essay by being supported throughout the rest narrative and the application.

Lastly, a willingness to take risks is evident throughout the narrative and exciting to read about. To go boldly forward towards a new community means taking big risks, and it is apparent that the author is ready to dive in here at Emory. In the end, what avails is the author’s confidence to fail forwards, which is an invaluable mindset to have when entering your first year of college. Stepping back, we’ve learned a lot about this student through their writing?—maybe most importantly?—how their personal qualities align nicely with Emory’s mission and community values.

除此之外，還有幾所藤校的文書喜好，小林在這里也給大家一并匯總啦~

普林斯頓大學
低調的普林斯頓大學看重學生的踏實治學，所以這所學校更喜歡質樸、感人的文章。

耶魯大學和布朗大學
這兩所偏向自由、開放，能力好是一方面，是否真正的對人生、對社會有思考才更重要。

康奈爾大學
康奈爾是藤校中唯一“半公半私”的大學，除了你的個人特質之外，它還看重你在文書中是否展現出了自己的社會責任心。

哥倫比亞大學
哥大非常看重學生的成熟度，眾多哥大錄取者的文書內容和筆觸都非常干練，透露著強大氣場，想要申請哥大，文書中要有一些高含金量的活動以及有成效的問題解決方案支撐才行。

賓夕法尼亞大學
賓大則是個“務實派”，它希望在你的文書中看到你的活動、你的熱情，但最重要的是你是否真的投入進去，是否真的有很大的影響。

達特茅斯學院
作為藤校中的文理學院，如果你在文書中表達對“小而精”教育的興趣，相對來說會更適合達特茅斯。

2文書寫作搞定這3點很重要
文書的意義是讓招生官能夠深入了解申請者，因此，寫文書實際上就是向申請者描述自己，無論是過往的經歷還是個性，都應該毫不遮掩地體現在文字中。

同時，文書并不是展示詞匯量或寫作功底的地方，要盡可能生動地講述，而不必為了追求華麗的辭藻講句子修飾得“別別扭扭”，甚至出現一些語法錯誤就得不償失了。

以下幾點寫作要點大家也可以收藏起來慢慢看~

文書開頭很重要！
哥倫比亞大學的一位招生官曾公開過審核一份申請材料的全過程，其中文書及補充文書的審核用時僅僅5分鐘。

因此，一篇文書想要在短短幾分鐘內快速吸引招生官的眼球、勾起他們的好奇心，一個引人入勝的開頭必不可少。

將招生官帶入自己描述的場景中?
耶魯大學本科招生辦公室副主任Keith Light曾在某節目中提到：在閱讀文書時，最大的享受就是在腦海中設想這些優秀的申請者，他們的創造力、思考深度、寫作角度等，見文如見人。

對于同學們來說，寫出一篇生動且富有畫面感的文書，更容易讓讀者“同步”你的真情實感，讓他們能夠認識真正的你。

文書需要獨特性?
無論哪種選題，都應該是幫助招生官更全面的了解申請人本人，所以在文書中大家要寫的是個人實際參與過的經歷。

不要忽略或者看輕任何一件“雞毛蒜皮”的小事，也許正是這件不起眼的小事可以深刻地向招生官展現你自己。

總的來說，無論是選擇怎樣的寫作主題，最關鍵的還是要言之有物才行，課外活動是最適合寫進文書的經歷之一，近年來，美本招生官們也越來越重視申請者的課外活動。

所以同學們需要抓緊時間不斷豐富自己的履歷，增強個人申請競爭力！

如果在英美申請文書方面，需要支持和幫助的話

歡迎掃碼聯系我們，還能免費獲得一對一學術活動規劃！